Perimenopause symptoms: what’s actually happing and why it feels so disruptive
And how maybe, just maybe, ‘disruptive’ isn’t all bad.
There’s a point in midlife where something starts to feel… off.
You might notice changes in your mood, energy, sleep, or focus. You might wonder if it’s stress, burnout, or something else entirely.
For many women, this is the beginning of perimenopause. And most don’t realize it.
This stage of the menopause transition can start in your late 30s or early 40s, and it often shows up in ways that feel confusing and inconsistent.
But here’s the key:
this isn’t just about symptoms. It’s about a shift.
What Are Perimenopause Symptoms (And Why No One Prepared You)
Perimenopause symptoms can vary widely, which is part of why they’re so often missed or dismissed.
Common signs include:
Irregular periods
Mood changes or increased anxiety
Sleep disruption
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Low energy or fatigue
Changes in weight or metabolism
Many women experience these changes and assume:
“I’m just stressed”
“I need to try harder”
“Something is wrong with me”
But these are often hormonal and neurological changes, not personal failures.
The real issue isn’t you. It’s that you weren’t given the information.
Without context, it’s easy to internalize what’s happening and try to push through it alone.
This Isn’t Just Something to “Get Through”
Most conversations about perimenopause frame it as something to survive. To manage. To endure.
That framing keeps you stuck in reaction mode. But there’s another way to look at this.
What if this is a higher-quality problem?
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. It means it’s meaningful.
A higher-quality problem:
Requires awareness instead of avoidance
Invites change instead of just coping
Opens the door to growth
You might notice a subtle shift when you start seeing it this way:
You become more curious and interested
You feel less stuck and more oriented toward growth
You start asking better questions
That shift is where agency begins.
What This Shift Actually Looks Like in Real Life
Here’s what this can look like in practice.
There’s a version of this where I’m lying in bed at 2:30am, wide awake again, already exhausted for the next day, and my brain goes straight to:
“I cannot function like this.”
“What is wrong with my body?”
“How am I supposed to keep up with everything tomorrow?”
That’s the low-quality problem.
It keeps me in survival mode, trying to get back to who I was before.
But here’s the shift.
Instead of asking,
“How do I get through this without falling apart?”
I’m practicing asking:
“Who am I becoming in a season where my body is asking me to do things differently?”
And that changes what happens next.
It looks like:
Cancelling something I normally would have pushed through
Adjusting expectations instead of overriding my body
Getting curious about what support I actually need
Not tying my worth to how productive I am on low-sleep days
The problem doesn’t disappear. But my relationship to it changes.
Because this phase isn’t just disrupting your routines.
It’s reshaping your capacity, your priorities, and your relationship to yourself.
Why This Phase Feels So Intense
One of the most disorienting parts of perimenopause is this:
What you used to tolerate… you often can’t anymore.
You might notice:
Less patience for overcommitment
A stronger need for boundaries
A growing awareness of what isn’t working
It can feel like something is wrong.
But this is actually a recalibration.
Your body is changing. Your tolerance is shifting. Your clarity is increasing.
And that creates an opening.
Not just to cope differently.
But to live differently.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
A lot of women are navigating perimenopause without support or context.
Trying to keep everything running the same way it always has.
But there are real ways to support yourself:
Medical guidance and hormone support when appropriate
Strength training and nutrition
Nervous system regulation
Coaching and community
If we understood what was happening earlier, most of us would take care of ourselves differently.
You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable to start.
This Is Where Leadership Becomes Personal
This phase isn’t just about symptoms.
It asks deeper questions:
What is no longer working?
What do I actually want?
What needs to change?
It’s not just about managing your body.
It’s about who you become in response to this transition.
Stronger boundaries.
More self-trust.
Clearer alignment.
This is where the leadership work I’ve taught for years stops being conceptual and becomes personal.
Where to Start
If you want to better understand what’s happening in your body, start here:
👉 Could This Be Perimenopause? What Midlife Women Need to Know
If you’re ready for more than information, and you want support navigating this transition in a grounded, intentional way, that’s exactly why I created The Intentional Pause.
Because this isn’t just something to get through.
It’s a turning point.
Additional Resources
If you’d like to continue learning, these clinicians and educators are doing thoughtful, evidence-based work in the menopause and midlife space:
Dr. Kelly Casperson (Her podcast, You are Not Broken, is SO good)
Dr. Mary-Claire Haver (She’s got incredible educational resources on her website)
Dr. Stacy Sims (Her expertise in strength-training is amazing)
Dr. Jessica Shepherd (I really enjoyed her book, Generation M, and first learned the term ‘menolescence’ from her)
Dr. Vonda Wright (Her book, Unbreakable, is an incredibly thorough look at the science behind menopause and longevity)
For a local connection, checkout Dr. Jordan Mendoza - in full transparency, she’s who I am working with myself:)
Each of these voices approaches midlife women’s health with nuance, science, and respect for lived experience.
